[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9kSYr5Cyks]
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The mind positively boggles. I watch this, and I feel like either I’m living in 1993 and didn’t realize it, or that there’s a Los Angeles, Iowa (population: 11) responsible for this.
If I don’t get laid, it’s the woman’s loss, not mine. It’s all women’s loss. What the fuck else are they going to talk about during Ladies Night? Their hopes and dreams? Isn’t that the same thing?
Oh, and there are top ten lists, too:
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
I’ll leave it to you to decide whether I’m laughing or taking this seriously today (here’s a hint: don’t bother reading through any of the comments; men and women take themselves waaay too seriously).
Yes, I know his name is R. Lee Ermey. And if you imply otherwise, I’ll beat you to death with nothing more than a used newspaper and your own cirrhotic liver. Removing my watch first, I assure you.
For those seeking Harry Potter and the Deadly Hype Deathly Hallows spoilers:
1) People die. And by people, I mean Dobby, who is apparently not really a person. And Bellatrix Lestrange, who has a funny name but — Helena Bonham Carter!
And Alan Rickman. Poor guy.
2) “Magic” happens. Not the really fun kind that Penn and Teller do while making political commentary veiled as comedy, but more like that goofy Mindfreak Angel guy.
3) Ron and Hermione finally get it on. (Go, Weasley!)
4) Watching drunks willingly eat poorly considered jelly bean flavors makes me think that there might be a market for my line of alternative Schapps flavors after all.
What kind of chaser would go well with Greasy Pork Sandwich Schapps, anyway?
Why am I watching this? Why? It’s not unlike a car wreck, where you’re horrified but part of you wants to see how bad it was, or maybe if someone you know is involved. Or porn, in the same ways.
And why are the losers reacting so violently? I can understand disappointment — we’ve all been in competition for something, and it’s a tremendous letdown to not win. It’s not the end of the world, it’s not death, it’s not anything worth crying about. The people that make it through to the very end and then lose? Okay, you’ve worked hard, and it certainly sucks more the closer to the finish line you fall. Been there, too.