Back in the Saddle (on my usual high horse)

Maybe I’ve waited too long between writings. Thoughts are bits of paper and ash caught up in a maelstrom, a tempest of things I feel like I need to verbalize, if only to relieve the pressure in my head.

“Tame the storm in your head.” Indeed.

I think too many people don’t understand what friendship should be, what love actually means. When a friend tells you that they are about to do or have done something that makes them happy – even if only momentarily – then you should be happy for them, and congratulate and encourage them. If you see dangers, point them out – but only so they are aware of things they might have overlooked in their excitement. Past that – what is it you gain by criticizing their actions, their desires, their hopes and happiness?

Friendship and love are not about you. They aren’t about possession. Sometimes they hurt, but there are better ways to soothe the pain than sharing with and reflecting it onto other people.

This seems a fundamental thing to me, common sense. Clearly, I’m mistaken in that perception.

People are terrified of homosexuality, so they use every tool in their power – even religion, which they all claim is built on a foundation of love – to debase and destroy it. People are terrified of different skin color, so they commit wars and genocides. People are terrified of being alone, or of being someone’s second (or last) choice, or of not being in someone’s favor, and so they lash out and try to share the rejection.

I don’t know. It frustrates me to no end for so many reasons. Maybe because I treat others this way in hopes that they will return the favor. Maybe because I see friends being treated as possessions, as people who haven’t earned respect and trust in their own ability to make decisions. Maybe because the things I see others doing or experiencing are things I would rather avoid in the future, and wishing that at least those I call friends (and that call me the same) could practice this path.

I recognize that you have the right to say whatever you want, no matter how hurtful, ignorant, wrong, despicable, misinformed, or just goddamned stupid it is. You need to recognize that the rest of us have the right to walk away from you, to ignore or dispute anything that comes out of your mouth.

We have the right to free speech, not the right to an audience. Learn the difference.

Related: stop telling me what comes out of my mouth is offensive. I frankly don’t give a plague-infested hate fuck. If you don’t like what I’m saying, stop listening. I won’t bother chasing after you.

This world, this society, this little piece of square footage that we call our own, is completely about us, as individuals. We are what makes the universe worth experiencing, what inspires and sparks and teaches and grows and evolves from one second to the next. Every single one of us important and crucial to the big picture, if only for a split-second¬†–¬†none with value over the others.

The world, this life, is all about you. You’re all you definitely have, the only absolute you can ever be 100% certain of. The only guarantees you have in this world are being born, and dying, and something in-between. Odds are pretty good – but not guaranteed at all – that in-between is going to have pain and loss, smiles and celebration. Each is important, even that which you think is bad or causes you discomfort, because without the darkness, you stop appreciating the light. The measure of your capacity to feel happiness and satiation and love is directly proportional to your experience with sorrow and desire and hate. Embrace them all, because it’s a big chunk of this gift of being human.

Until it’s at the expense of another, especially one you call friend or claim to love or respect. At that point, you’ve lost at least some measure of humanity, and probably deserve whatever karma sends your way.

Share the joy
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