Howto: Blog (hint: not like me)

Mostly, I keep this blog for me.  I like to stick my head up my own ass every now and then and randomly read things I’ve written.  And then I bask in the warm glow of my ego.  And then I cry a little, because of all the wasted talent I might have.  And then I drink, and all is well with the world.

Some of us take this blogging thing more seriously.  Those some have even managed to make a living and find celebrity based on nothing more than their blogging.  Me, I work two jobs, 60-70 hours a week, and still don’t get recognized.  Sometimes in my own house.  And I sure can’t buy my way into the nice dinners and fancy parties.

Even sadder is that most all of the links on this blog have gone dead. And some things that were implemented with a specific design in mind have started to look like Jenna Jameson pregnant with twins: you remember the glory days, but only barely, and even then you wonder if you weren’t just high.

But for those of you that want to do it right, my friend Wade is launching the Birmingham Blogging Academy.  I remember helping him set up his first two blogs (although it was more than a little shocking to me today when I realized how long ago I helped him do so). And while I’ve forgotten more about web design than he’ll ever know, and my writing makes him weep like a paraplegic child at a track meet, he’s got one thing I’ll never have: common sense.  And the ability to teach.  And the gift of turning words into money. And the knowledge and understanding of modern counting systems.

Look, the guy’s got some craftsmanship to go with his artistic fancy word formation things.  You can see for yourself at www.wadeonbirmingham.com.  If any of you are serious about blogging — for money, for wider readership, for anything other than blatant narcissism or nostalgic masturbation while crying (goddamn, Naomi Watts is hot in Mulhooland Drive, isn’t she?), and maybe even then — you should consider what Wade can do for you.

Hey, Wade’s brown… What can brown do for you?  How about make you famous?  Or rich?  At least more educated.

(It’s even funnier since he used this joke in reference to America’s Next Top Heroin-Addicted Toothpick.)

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4 thoughts on “Howto: Blog (hint: not like me)

  1. You are too kind. Too kind!

    Who said I wasn’t hiring you? Send me some cards, and if any of my students needs a professional blog setup, they’re coming to you.

    Plus, who says I won’t be calling on you for guest lecturing? Someone has to explain proper CSS and design. It ain’t gonna be me.

  2. Someone has to explain proper CSS and design. It ain’t gonna be me.

    So, I’ve got to learn how to do it right, now? Shit.

  3. Pingback: The Ultimate Goal of Not Having a Goal « Birmingham Blogging Academy

  4. I feel for you. I once worked 2 full time jobs (post office from 11 to 7 college from 8to12 Olan Mills from 1 to 8 photographing babies. Today my children are 47,45,39 and i am 67 and have lived in a tent since 1-10-05. I have no bills and am happy I live with my dog “Mitscher” the name of the ship i spent 3 yrs. on 63-65. He weighs 63 lb. and is a Staffwiser Terrier . He looks like Spuds McKinsey. I write almost daily in my computer so now I’ll write on my blog. By next year I’ll have millions of dollars and will put out a bounty on the wild hogs in florida. I’ll rent a ship that can haul livestock haul the 5,000 or more wild hogs to cuba, pick up the 238 prisoners and take them back to iraq. I’ll need to feed the hogs something and a muslim believes that wild hog are the devil himself and since the want to die, I’ll feed them to the hogs and film it and put it on my blog.

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