Election ’06 predictions

  1. Candidate X wins.  Perhaps by a landslide, perhaps by a narrow margin — but either way, with a majority significant enough that, in the old days, Candidate Y would have conceded the competition, probably even with some semblance of dignity.
  2. Lawsuits are filed.  The voting machines were rigged.  Computers were hacked.  People were bribed.  You name it, and it will be a cause for the loss of an election.
  3. For the next bunch of months or years, we’ll hear one side or the other bitching non-stop about how the other side shouldn’t even be there.

If there’s a single person out there that thinks that our electoral system doesn’t need a complete overhaul — from top to bottom — then leave me a note telling me why.  And then go have a nice tall glass of Draino, on me, because you’re so naive or blind that you shouldn’t be voting, much less taking up my air.

Not that I think it would improve the political landfill septic field arena of our country much.  I’ve said it before, and I imagine my opinion won’t change before I’m meat for worms: politicians are the worst attributes of the human race, magnified 500X and painted a vomitous shade of neon green.

It would be nice, though, to know comfortably and with certainty exactly how stupid my fellow voters are, and while there’s a question of the honesty of the election results (especially on the level of doubt that lingers after the 2000 election and all the Diebold stories floating around on the web), I can’t be certain.

This is a non-partisan complaint, by the way.  I think that Democrats are just as susceptible to the dark side of human nature  Republicans are no more likely to cheat to win than it’s not a question of who is cheating as much as it is the ease with which one side can swing the vote falsely.

It’s just one more reason why I feel like no matter who wins today, we all lose in the end.

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