Secrets

If you want something kept secret, don’t tell anyone. Make no mention of it to a single soul — not your mother, your wife, your best friend. Don’t write it down, type it out, post it to the Internet.

Keeping things private starts at home.

If you do something or say something, accept the consequences.

I saw a disclaimer on a blog recently saying something — and I’m misquoting like no one’s business here — along the lines of, “This is my blog, it’s not for your eyes, so if I say something about you that offends you, you’re not allowed to get pissed off about it.”

WHAT?

Of course I am! And if I get pissed off at you, to your face, you’d best be prepared to suck it up and take it. If you don’t want me getting pissed off about something you said — don’t fucking say it. It’s about that simple.

This entire society seems more and more these days about absolving themselves of blame, of placing resposibility elsewhere, of being untarnished and perfect.

Fuck that.

It starts on a personal level — blaming the dissolution of friendships and romances and work conditions on anyone other than yourself. You point the finger elsewhere, hoping you can remain looking good. You convince yourself that you can’t possibly be wrong, reinforcing negative behavior. Mistakes are repeated, again and again — but it’s always someone else’s fault, no matter how many times it happens and involves you.

Oh, and then it grows, until it’s corporations and governments and gigantic entities pointing the finger.

Katrina, FEMA, Nagin, Blanco, Bush, anyone?

Accountability is not a dirty word, but it must have too many syllables for the common man.

And so when people let their secrets out in the open, it immediately becomes someone else’s fault. But just think: if you had kept your mouth shut in the first place, no one else would know.

And then there’s the idea of living and speaking to never have any regrets. I have very few skeletons in my closet, and I like it that way. I’m happy with this blog, no fears of anyone finding it, because there’s nothing on here to hide. Sure, there’s plenty of stuff that no one knows about – but only because they didn’t happen to hear it. Certainly not because I didn’t want them to.

Things I want kept hidden stay hidden. Bodies and all.

Face/On/Off

Preparing for the world’s first face transplants – MSNBC.com: “It is this: to give people horribly disfigured by burns, accidents or other tragedies a chance at a new life. Today�s best treatments still leave many of them with freakish, scar-tissue masks that don�t look or move like natural skin.

These people already have lost the sense of identity that is linked to the face; the transplant is merely �taking a skin envelope� and slipping their identity inside, Siemionow contends.

Her supporters note her experience, careful planning, the team of experts assembled to help her, and the practice she has done on animals and dozens of cadavers to perfect the technique.

But her critics say the operation is way too risky for something that is not a matter of life or death, as organ transplants are. They paint the frighteningly surreal image of a worst-case scenario: a transplanted face being rejected and sloughing away, leaving the patient worse off than before.”

Planned Parenthood Gets It Right

Planned Parenthood Southeastern Pennsylvania: “Here’s how it works: You decide on the amount you would like to pledge for each protester (minimum 10 cents). When protesters show up on our sidewalks, Planned Parenthood Southeastern Pennsylvania will count and record their number each day from October 1 through November 30, 2005. We will place a signoutside the health center that tracks pledges and makes protesters fully aware that their actions are benefiting PPSP. At the end of the two-month campaign, we will send you an update on protest activities and a pledge reminder.”

Excellent. And how will the anti-abortion crowd feel about supporting the pro-choice movement?

The correct answer, of course, is that it doesn’t matter what they think.

Ah, the meme: enemy of mankind, friend to us all

the Wit
(66% dark, 30% spontaneous, 21% vulgar)
your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you’re
probably an intellectual, but don’t take that to mean pretentious. You
realize ‘dumb’ can be witty–after all isn’t that the Simpsons’
philosophy?–but rudeness for its own sake, ‘gross-out’ humor and most
other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it’s also the best, in my opinion.

You probably loved the Office. If you don’t know what I’m
talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart – Woody Allen – Ricky Gervais

The 3-Variable Funny Test!

– it rules –


If you’re interested, try my latest:
The Terrorism Test

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

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You scored higher than 85% on darkness
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You scored higher than 10% on spontaneity
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You scored higher than 9% on vulgarity
Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

Daily Show: Meet The Fuckers

onegoodmove: Meet The Fuckers: “I’m not as delicate as Jon. More on Katrina and more demands for accountability. It’s like Jon said, if you don’t like the blame game it is usually because you’re to blame.”

Michael Brown needs to be forced to help clean up New Orleans. Starting with body removal, and ending with a person-to-person visit with every person in the Astrodome.

FEMA. Bah.

Bush. Bah.

I hope I’m wrong about Heaven and the existence of God, for one reason: these despicable human beings, these wastes of skin and clean air, need to be forced to some level of accountablility.

Not just Bush and crew, now that I think about it, but most of humanity.

Now the government is just pissing me off

Salt Lake Tribune: “‘There are all of these guys with all of this training and we’re sending them out to hand out a phone number,’ an Oregon firefighter said. ‘They [the hurricane victims] are screaming for help and this day [of FEMA training] was a waste.’
Firefighters say they want to brave the heat, the debris-littered roads, the poisonous cottonmouth snakes and fire ants and travel into pockets of Louisiana where many people have yet to receive emergency aid.
But as specific orders began arriving to the firefighters in Atlanta, a team of 50 Monday morning quickly was ushered onto a flight headed for Louisiana. The crew’s first assignment: to stand beside President Bush as he tours devastated areas. “