A little Living Colour for you all. Or for me. Whatever.

In another life
You might have been a genius
In another life
You might have been a star
In another life
Your face might have been perfect
In another life
You’d drive a better car

In another life
All your jokes are funny
In another life
Your heart is free from fear
In another life
You make a lot of money
In this other life
Everything is clear

In another life
You’re always the hero
In another life
You always win the game
In another life
No one ever cheats you
In another life
You never have to change

In another life
Your friends never desert you
In another life
You never have to cry
In another life
No one ever hurts you
In this other life
Your loved ones never die

But this is the life you have
This is the life you have
This is the life you have
This is the life

In another life
You’re always the victim
In another life
You’re always the thief
In another life
You are always lonely
In this other life
There is no relief

In your real life
Treat it like it’s special
In your real life
Try to be more kind
In your real life
Think of those that love you
In this real life
Try to be less blind

This is the life you have

Astrologers: eat a steaming bag of fuck, okay?

And so, at the end of all this, I’m left thinking of the story my grandmother used to tell me about the little brother and sister who find a puppy, and both of them claim the puppy as their own. And they fight and argue about whose puppy it is, and then there’s a tug of war, and the little puppy gets pulled apart, right down the middle. And the kids are without a puppy, and the puppy is dropping bits of gut and loops of intestine all over the freshly waxed kitchen floor, and from the beginning, the puppy was just completely happy to have two new friends.

Of course, this was her way of making me and Mandy not argue over the last ice cream sandwich. Which never worked. Because you can totally cut an ice cream sandwich in half with no fear of intestinal loops on the kitchen floor.

Ah, a good laugh. Nothing like it.

McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: Although I Like a Good George W. Bush Joke as Much as the Next Guy, Some of Them Seem Gratuitous and Mean-Spirited.:

“Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

A: I’m not sure, but if the answer is ‘A cure for Parkinson’s disease,’ then Bush will try to stop scientists from breeding them. Because he likes it when people get Parkinson’s.”

Morning On Earth

Morning arrives on an Earth I’ve never seen before
Revealing a life that I never really understood
Strange, the way beauty can hurt the opened eye
Much more than all of the filth and pain that we’re soaked in ever could…

Big idea, good idea…

“Dried up, a guitar upon my knee
I should have sold out when the devil came for me
I dig a hole and throw it out to sea
Break the code, how happy I could be

I still wave at the dots on the shore
I still beat my head against the wall
I still rage and wage my little war
I’m a shade and easy to ignore

White wall, I had to paint a door
I always find that I’ve been through it before
Close it up and throw away the key
Break the code, how happy I could be

I woke up and I had a big idea
To buy a new soul at the start of every year
I paid up and it cost me pretty dear
Here’s a hymn to those that disappear

I still wave at the dots on the shore
I still beat my head against the wall
I still rage and wage my little war
I’m a shade and easy to ignore”

Someone apparently had it all backwards

Seattle man dies after sex with horse – Peculiar Postings – MSNBC.com: “A Seattle man died after engaging in anal sex with a horse at a farm suspected of being a gathering place for people seeking to have sex with livestock, police said Friday.

The horse involved in the incident was not harmed, and an autopsy of the unnamed man concluded that �the manner of death was accidental … due to perforation of the colon,� a police spokesman said.”

At first, you think maybe the guy was just lonely, desparate for sexual contact… but then you see how it’s all backwards, and all you can think is, “Freak.”

“Although sex with animals is not illegal in Washington state, Urquhart said that investigators were looking into whether the farm, located in Enumclaw, 40 miles southeast of Seattle, allowed sex with smaller animals that resulted in animal cruelty, which is a crime.

�If you�re talking about sheep or goats, there could be some issues,� Urquhart said.”

My So Called whatever

Totally surreal weekend. Loved every moment of it, with the possible exception of waking up today (when you sleep after nearly 48 hours of being awake, rising again SUCKS). Finished a freelance web programming job (a refreshing reminder of why I need to push myself back into business for me), won Best Cinematography (and got a tremendous reception) for the Scramble film, and had a Beach Party Weekend slumber party with two wonderful peoples.

Yes, peoples. I’m exhausted, and it’s my webspace to fill up with the words I choose.

Drinking is fun with the right people, as is playing darts (I had forgotten how unorthodox my throwing style is); that should be a more regular part of my life.

That, and making so much money that people blush in embarrassment for me.

Next up: HIDE AND CREEP on DVD this Tusday. Go rent twenty copies, and buy one for yourself, too.

Scramble Update

Just got word from Catherine Pfitzer at Sidewalk that our film made the top 15 — we’re among the finalists. Everyone come to Alys Stephens tomorrow night and root us on — my team did a hell of job, and they deserve your applause.

And money. Yes. Lots of money.