I always wanted fan mail

Forwarded to me, this lovely piece of criticism regarding an article I wrote for Birmingham Weekly:

From: “[person I probably know]”
Date: Tue, 24 Aug 2004 06:08:21 GMT
Subject: How far…

can someone’s head get up another’s ass?

I am referring, of course, to Kennnn McCrackennnn and his shameless
promotion of his current bandmates’ endeavors (chance shirley et al). Does
no one in B’hdm [sic] know how much of a circle jerk his writings are?
Congratulations on supplying the Vaseline.

I have no response, other than to say that yes, there are plenty of people in Birmingham that know how much of a circle jerk my writings are. Especially those interviews with Norah Jones and Tenacious D, close personal friends of mine, and Amber Benson, who is, in fact, my future wife. But it’s okay, because at the end of the day, they all pay me large amounts of money and supply me with endless amounts of 95% pure heroin — not snow white, but white like a January day in Aspen on the slopes, to badly paraphrase Chuck Pahlaniuk.

Also another one of my buddies, by the way.

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